worry wart

All weekend I had been relaxed and didn't seem to have too many cares in the world and then I get to work on Monday morning and the anxious, frazzled part of myself comes back. I dislike it very much when there are several things that are out of your control and your a person who likes to be in control [of everything] and in situations when you cannot control anything it creates a lot of anxiety. When this happens I have to grab a rope and pull myself back into my rational side and take a deep breathe. It's difficult when you are the type of person that likes to plan steps in life when there are immenent changes coming in the next year. This is also an issue of control that I need to resolve, sometimes I am jealous of those people who just "go with the flow" or let life take its course...But,I have always struggled with that. How do you guys deal with uncontrollable situations that cause anxiety?

My new obsession

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Update...

SO...it's been a long time since I've updated. I have been in Arizona for a little over a year now and it has been a journey to say the least. It's been amazing being with the boyfriend and the job is good, however I am still homesick for New York like crazy...it's very hard to adjust to a place that is so different. But the sunny days and warm weather have been nice considering it's been blizzard central this winter. My goal is to take each day for what it is and live a grateful life.

It's a New Day

It has been a looong time since I've updated on here, which means I forgot my password...The last few months have been so busy! Before the holidays I left they city and went to upstate NY to stay with family, Although I missed the city I was excited about getting a car and starting this "suburban" life...I officially am living in Arizona now and it's so beautiful, after a very long car ride to get here, I must say it was great to see the rest of America. Being a native new yorker that was living in the city we can become a bit biased on the rest of the country not being as great as the greatest city in the country (at least in my opinion), but the rest of America is very beautiful, and now my new home is even more so!
I always have been known to beat the odds out there in many areas of my life, people always tell me that it can't happen or I shouldn't do something, but I do, and always have succeeded. But, I guess when people tell you that you cannot do something you either don't do it and always regret what may have happened or you do it and prove everyone wrong, which I love doing just to prove yourself and teach them not to be so negative about achieving your goals in life.

Well, for now I will stop, and soon come back and throw words out into cyberspace...

Fall in the Desert

I am looking forward to moving out of NY to Arizona, it a big way.. but the closer it's gets I start thinking about the things I'll miss. Although NY is home, and everyone I know is here, I know I will always be able to come back, but I keep thinking that when I'm living there[arizona] in the Fall and winter, I'm going to be the crazy NY girl who turns her AC on high and curl up in sweats and a comforter just to feel at home. I will miss the northeast when the leaves change and the air is crisp, and the first snowfall, wearing sweaters, hot coffee, cider, etc. But, when it's out of my system I can put on my bikini head down to the pool for some perfect 85 degree sunny weather and have the locals think I'm crazy again because 85 is cold to their comparable 105 the rest of the year :).

misplaced

Every feel like you should be at another stage of life, of your career? Since I recently graduated with my masters degree, I feel like I have the knowledge and experience to be at a further stage of my career, but feel so stuck as I search for jobs. I know I can be inpatient and it takes years for people to climb the career ladder, but it's frustrating when you know you can be doing so much more and just can't get there.

The Not-So-Perfect Life

I have been a perfectionist all of my life. I think at times it is a good quality to have, because I strive to be the best I can be at everything that I do. But, lately I have been thinking about it, and I'm seeing that it's more than just a good quality, it something that is a facade put up because of something deeper inside of me. It's being afraid of failing, afraid of failing those closest around me, failing and not being able to recuperate from it. Afraid of just not being great at everything.
Realizing all of this, I am working on being ok, at not being great at everything. It's ok to be at fault, and fail, and then learn from it. That's all you can do. When you learn from it you become a better person, instead of hiding from your imperfections of trying to be perfect.